I wish the haze could just kill me now... So many things I can runaway from... yOu.. the dance... school with friends who I'm invisible to.. just living here...
I used to think that yOu lift me up... yOu meant everything to me... yOu were everything I cared for... yOu were always the first that comes to my mind... but because of yOu, I've become such a person... Yea, yOu do lift me up, when I'm down, when I strive my way through looking for yOu... Sometimes it's worth it.. sometimes it's just a "hey I gtg... gnite" and nothing else... But the stupid gurl ere would just sit right in front of the comp like the world's biggest fool.. waiting for yOu to come online... I just wanna know what am I to yOu... What have I done that yOu need to give me this shyt in return..? I've always gave in to yOu... I helped as much as I could... But yOu dont even bother thinking bout how yOu shall return what yOu owe..? Owh, wait till the proper time comes huh? I dare bet that yOu never even thought bout giving it back! I've got enough! yOu're this person I thought I could spill any necessaries to, but I truly annoy yOu all the time right? I'm just this irritating person yOu can't stand right? I'll end it today... Wont annoy yOu nemore... But yea it feels good to be loved..! Good for yOu..! I've never felt it! I've always felt fooled!
The times yOu've made me cry, is uncountable! Readers must be thinking who the heck's this person that can even make me cry so much?! Owh a great person.. One that made me fall for everything he says... makes me wanna believe everything... So great that he can make me go on drifting to my own world... Not able to get myself outta it...
But no, I'm putting a stop from now! NOW... I'm not gon' be yOur fool anymore... I dont care what yOu have to tell me... I dont care what the answer's gonna be anymore..! I've just got enough! and I'm standing up!! Putting a stop..! Say whatchu wanna... I can be sensitive, or wtv.. but hey, I've woken up! Know why?! I hate myself for loving yOu..! And no, I dont think I should be hating myself because of yOu... I can't stand this anymore... and won't be taking it anymore... I've got my life to live..!
p/s: those of you who thinks that when a person scold, that person cares for you, you got it all wrong!
Wake up and realise the opposite...
Friday, August 12, 2005
I hate myself for loving this beautiful disaster!!!
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2 comments:
what a beautiful disaster you've got there huh, from such a small reminder (to you its probably an insult, oh well, individual perspective raiiight?)to such a BIG scale of hate and dissent, oh well, i can't stop others from what or where they wanna lead their lives to, and if you suggest something is OVER, and may i remind you, that OVER is a big and strong word, and it might never be undone, well then i guess it is only right for you to stick to your words. You may have made some people stay up in bed at times, thinking "omg what have i done?", but well, i think its your turn now. well then, nuff said, good night! p.s. regarding the sentence "not gonna pay me back" or something like that, imma pay you your cash in quarters until it is all settled, pardon me, i have alot more things to settle with my cash.
oh and besides, i do feel much much better, if you could just tell it to me, online, or to my face or wtv, since im such a beautiful disaster, might as well get rid of me face to face, i too have lots to say. Very well then, have a good Friday! Good night!
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