ellow wello folks!

Last night, I was missin' 'em. Then I sent an sms like I always do. Just a while later, I had this sugar rush or was is adrenaline rush or plainly butterflies in my tummy. I was jumpin like a crazy gurl in my room. If there was a trampoline, it's suspension would've been worn off by now. Well, this shows what a plain sms can do. It don't need any "luv ya", "muaxx", "xoxo", "miss you" to make someone's day, well atleast not mine. Just an sms for the sake of chatting does it all.

I smiled myself to sleep, I smiled all day! School was a lil boring, even worse I had nothing to look forward to. sexy two shoes didn't come. But I had some fun playing the old game "truth or dare". It's fun but not, because when it comes to me, I have to do it. When it comes to them, it's all so easy cause they plead to ease the dare and stuff. *hmph* Well, I did something to someone by being dared. Sigh. I don't even know why I did it. But I feel bad now. Like, YUCK! No la, nothing dirty... Just wish I didn't do it.

I was gonna post up something bout my weekend. But I'm too lazy. I'm leaving it in multiply someday soon. and for now... toodleydo!
mr sexy two shoes, vrillie misses you like always.

with much love,
vril

this is just to inform you that there'll be more to read or to know about soon. maybe tmrw, maybe the day after, maybe after the exams, maybe next year. I'm just not happy with what someone is, but that person is so blur to know. I'll be going out to ou tmr! weee...! with my britney! =)

mr sexy two shoes I miss you! You could've possibly already read my blog, so, if you're reading this, yea, sweetie pie I miss you!

emo is the mood!

Lots of love,
vrillie.

the darkest yet sweetest angel I wish to call mine.

when one thing in this world means the world to you...

you'd do anything for 'em...

you'd go as crazy as ever because of just one call...

you'd go as far as what it takes..

you'd tell yourself you've gotta let go of old useless ones..

you'd imagine you're together at every beautiful sunset you witness..

you'd fret and stumble with your own words in front of him,
come home and electricute yourself.

Wanting to have that one thing in the world that means the world to you;

*
*
*

is like trying to get something you know you can't..

trying to make something higher than what's high enough

even if it was a game, your mind would be so far wishing it was him.

being mr caveman who's never seen mcD...
and then stone at it and go... "errr...[I want]"

look at it... and go "hmmm.. nice ass..."

And because you really wanna be with him/her/it,
because you wanna love him for the person he is in your heart,
because you know that your feelings for him is true,
because you know it's worth the wait,
because you really really really wanna show you care and allow him to help you revive, forget the ugly past, and start anew...
sometimes it makes you want to cry...
sometimes it makesyou wayy... too happy.

that one thing in the world that means the world to you... makes anything happen.
You're the darkest of all angels, and I see something special in you. I'm missing you!

***************************************

Last Sunday, I was with mummy and jie.. and daddy's money,we went to KLCC convention centre and did penguin walking because it was so crammed and the 3 of us joined hands just so we wont lose each other in the penguin crowd. I'll cut the story short, mummy and daddy spent big time ka-chings for my birthday present! I finally got an mp3 which I have silently wished for, a new keyboard with 2 extra usb ports[so that I don't have to go under the comp desk to plug and un-plug and knock my head],an amplified set with 4 speakers, and superb[enough for me]bass control.

the owh-so-compact keyboard.
the 2 things at the side are the 4 speakers..the one at the bottom is the bass control.
the FS50 Aztech mp3, doesn't have an lcd display. I don't need it, I just listen cause they're all so recognizeable songs.
there.. the bass control...


I don't care if they've got a known or un-known brand, but I love my mummy and daddy very much and I'll not complain that I can't go out anymore, because I know why you're stopping me. I have sorta set my goals, I guess it's time I get a lil more serious and stop sleeping all afternoon!

By the way readers, I'm on a diet. I eat, but I don't eat un-nessacarily. I have my priorities, and why do you even give a damn if I bring an apple to school to eat? What's wrong with wanting to be healthy, and staying away from oily and who knows dirty, canteen food? A weirdo thought that eating an apple without cutting it is weird. You're just odd. Look, I weigh an amount of kilogrammes which I'm not happy with and want to make a change. Just because you don't give a damn about your weight or how you look cause you think you're perfect, or not, don't come and say that I'm looking fine and bla bla blahhh... Because you're not gonna be here to stand in my way. I have something I want to achieve and prove to someone, so stand back.
Like I said in my friendster account profile,"If you only want to make my life miserable, go to hell."

A few things I learnt today;
abstinence=to say 'no' to premarital sex, that may lead to pregnancy or/and STD.
condoms are not proven to avoid pregnancy or/and STD[no worries, I don't regret anything].
parents/mums and dads would always be parents/mums and dads. In whatever situation, they're the first ones to be there for you.

Goodnight.

I dreamt that he...

I didn't see my sexy two shoes for 2 days already! Was hoping I could tomorrow, but to my disappointment, he's busy. 10minutes on the phone with him and I'm happy, but ofcourse not satisfied!

Today again, was quite a bad day. I was just moody for no reason I guess. Owh, now I recall, first off in the morning, I was so drowsy thanks to my medication. So I was being grumpy and all.

TiMing and I like marah marah argue argue... then we both muka masam do own work didnt wanna bother each other. Right now, I think it was funny. Then the I scold and you scold me, you laugh I also laugh went on till end of school. Melanie walked me outta school, I had to hcase Patrick the small boy. He left without me! When he saw me, he screamed and ran! wtf?! Then I tried to walk as fast s possible ler, cause I was wearing baju kurung, and the sarong went "frup fraappp fruppp frappp!!" Like some kungfu sound effects. I saw christopher the evil arse. He asked for water from someone else... Hesitated whether to wet me or not... Then I thought he wasn't going to. Yea, you guess it, he did! Owh, he didnt wet me over the clothes and all, cause I'll get transparent if my blouse gets wet! He *splooshed* water at my face which got my hair wet too. Water went in my eyes! I was so mad, when I turn around looking for him, that scardy-cat-chicken-backside ran away! Whatever mann, kid! And yea, Patrick didnt pity me one bit! He even messed up my hair!

Bad enough to call it a day. As I got onto the bus, it started drizzling. When we reached ss5, it was raining like rats and elephants[cats and dogs]! Then it slowed down as we approached Giant Supermarket. I was a lil happier. Then it got heavy again. It came to my stop, and I went off the bus and ran all the way home. I was so soaking wet! Sigh. The rain dragged on throughout the whole day!

So much for today mann. I need sleep and I need my sexy two shoes! Someone convince him to come tomorrow? Btw!! I dreamt of him last night! We were walking along the corridors of classes together, and oh my gosh...! he actually.. okay, not meant to share it here! Goodnight! =)

bad days...

yesterday:

• reached school and realised I forgot the camera I wanted to bring.
• while I was crossing the road before tuition, I was walking along the divider and missed my step and almost risk my life there.
• [and for now, I forgot what else happened]

As for today:

• the long pants I wore inside to be quicker when I have to change for the photoshoot, I folded it from below the knee to my thighs, so that it wouldnt be seen. But it dropped the minute I stepped into the school compound. Black cloth playing peekaboo with ppl who saw it's eyes.
• something stupid and shouldnt have happened happen before recess. Which brings to a conclusion that I brought extra 3 pieces of finished clothing material for no reason.
• someone said complimented on me saying is was "hoc" and not "hot", which just seems to me like it's something I would say "whatever" to.. and piss me off.
• lunch was horrible, cause I got irritated by the person I always have lunch with.
• was supposed to accompany my friend for dinner. which means I'll have to get there by cab alone. Expecting my mum or/and dad to allow, I told my maid to just cook without my share.
• so she didnt, but my parents said that taking a cab would worry them so much.
• so I had maggi mee for dinner.
• But I thought I could still atleast accompany my friend, without eating big big meals, maybe just an ice cream? But no, this van uncle came today with a guy with brown brown hair, smelt like some weird perfume, studies in Hartamas school... Thinking maybe that rich kid would be going to edusmart.. but dammit no! This donkey old man asked me again, for the dunnohowmanytimesade time, "your tuition stat 8 o klok aRr?!" I'm like.." uh.. yea". "Okay. I must send this friend here to atria, he's learning Spanish!! You can speak ar?" Gosh... I'm like so screwed.
• Cos my friend's parents were waiting to send my friend to tuition then they can have dinner while I eat with their son. But their son waiting for me to leave my hse then only he leave. Wouldn't you feel bad?
• Then this driver hor, ee hwa chia eh sii ae... Cho wa kia ka ai lau jio liao! But then wa kek wa eh jio la... Ii hwa chia, chin chia sukak potong jialan ehh... Ii "hon hon" lang mm chai cho ha mik.. Cho other drivers lau ii, ta pai ii bo chai lang... He think he veli gleat!, but, hor wa le.. ii sii chii go pek!
• I reached tuition like 7.35pm. I called my friend, wah liao!! No answer wor! I was afraid if he'd be mad at me. Both hp didnt answer. I went to see other friends at the mamak, and they say he isn't "here" yet. So I left to SBL to get mum's things for her.
• as I was walking back to tuition, I was reading mum's sms, "no nid to buy la.. raining..". I was gonna reply then my phone rang, my great friend ask where I was, like as if he'll do anything if I were else where?
• Crossing the same road as yesterday, I crossed the road thinking I'll be fine, but somehow I didnt see a motorcyclist coming up too near. So, yea I could've said bye bye in just a snap, but I moved just back in time.
• Bought ice cream from the mamak. Charged me 4bucks for a a foam cup, with not even a full scoop of ice cream, which they claim 2 scoops with a damn waffle and chocolate syrup and chocolate chips.
• my friend broke my ice cream spoon. and ate so much of it.
• then while in tuition, my friend made heck of a potato noise and I couldn't finish up the questions given. It frustrates me you know...
• driving home, mum asked why would i need two numbers, I'm not even doing any shyt business. But she herself agreed on me getting a 017 cause it'll be cheaper for her and jie. I have friends who use hotlink, I have frequent friends who use 016. My 016 sim card has all the contacts. and I would've have to inform so many ppl! my friend asked me to make a decision, I also dunno la... I bought the sim card, cause even my mum agreed wart! Now she's against it!
• my mum's room door knob had a problem, and got itself locked. So mum couldn't get in. Daddy was hammering the keyhole and stuff, being superhero, he hammered his finger. I swear to God and cross my heart I don't remember laughing. I only remember saying "can you just reiki your finger now?sure pain until can die wei... die die die..!!!" Well I dunno why the many times die la... But.. dad later said, if someone gets injured like that you shouldn't laugh okay. I was thinking like.. wtf?! The door got unlocked anyway.

I just have to say that today's another not my luck day. I pray for tmr, I want to see mr sexy two shoes! Yesterday, I saw mr sexy2shoes walk his dog. Well, I only saw the back of him... It was obvious enough it was him. I know my sexy2shoes. I've gotta go sleep now,or maybe do my homework. Or leave it out, and absent tmrw.. OR just go to school with a headache la.

Goodnight potatoes! Be potato! Eat potato![simply because]

The weeks seems to pass so quickly nowadays. I don't know if things are turning out right for now or not... Well, maybe for some yea, some not even a word said for 1 week! I don't really have much to say. Just that, I've been somehow dramatic these days. And have been enjoying my time distubring ppl and smacking their asses. Last week, our school had lotsa outsiders from various colleges and centres and maybe...*don't know where la...*,to give talks and motivations to especially the form5 students.Some were okay, some were fierce.. but I remember sleeping at the add maths one. Well, I don't take add maths anymore! =) As melkywinky said, I was very inspired by today's motivation[from what I told him though..]

Today, I skipped tuition just so I can have dinner with my parents and jie... Could be the last time till after abt...50 days? So, screw the economics, it's all politic la! LoLx!!!and my family comes first. So we had crabs and clams... The clams were called Tsunami La-la. Because these clams only existed to the current society's eyes after tsunami tidal wave happened recently. Cool heh? Aiyah, sadly I didn't take a shot of it. Its 'tongue' was pointed and mmm...! We were seated at this big-but-mini table and the dishes we ordered filled up the whole table! We seemed like hooligans. ahahah!

I told you I've got nothing to blog about today. and, I'm on medication for the stupid but smart rash on my skin. So...I'm really drowsy now. Was supposed to be waiting for a msg/sms/call/reply, but I can't wait too long anymore.uh.. goodnight all.

I, Avril Leow, declare tomorrow a public holiday!!!cause it is a holiday! anyway, see ya'll soon!

*drops dead asleep*

*opens eyes and stones into blank air*





















aiyor... reading somor? bye bye lah! =D

sometimes love just aint enough

"alway love you, blindly"

Forever was you and me in my mind. If forever breaks, so will my heart, but for the best of me, let it be.

emotions being snapped on this time and date.

and just like the speed of lights... all a sudden...

Forever has broken.But only because I attempted it to break.

the kinda dog face that's been on me all this week.
So just go with the flow, ayte...

I finally went to the doctor today, about my skin. After I came back, I napped awhile. And just as I woke up, my thigh started to itch again. It itched like hell, although I've never even reached hell.. but being unable to stand the itch, I've got my thigh looking like I got major skin disease. Btw, I cry everytime I itch and scratch[whether with tears or not]. Cause I know what's causing it to worsen but feelin' so miserable being unable to do anything about it. Cause anything I do 'isn't bringing me anywhere'.

Song for the week:

Don Henley & Patty Smith - Sometimes love just ain't enough.

Now, I don't want to lose you, but I don't want to use you
just to have somebody by my side.
And I don't want to hate you,
I don't want to take you, but I don't want to be the one to cry.

And that don't really matter to anyone anymore.
But like a fool I keep losing my place
and I keep seeing you walk through that door.

(Chorus)

But there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just aint enough.

Now, I could never change you, I don't want to blame you.
Baby, you don't have to take the fall.
Yes, I may have hurt you, but I did not desert you.
Maybe I just want to have it all.

It makes a sound like thunder, it makes me feel like rain.
And like a fool who will never see the truth,
I keep thinking something's gonna change.

(Chorus)

And there's no way home, when it's late at night and you're all alone.
Are there things that you wanted to say?
And do you feel me beside you in your bed,
there beside you, where I used to lay?

And there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't touch.
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just ain't enough.

Baby, sometimes, love... it just ain't enough.
Oh, Oh, Oh, No.

Almost every word in every line meant something so much to me.It's more like a conversation.Owh well, I need a new hairdo, to throw away the bad and liven up,ideas? Goodnight.