Out of reach.

Okay, a friend told me to continue blogging. This shall truly be the last, till next year. Cause I'll be gone, from every sense. You won't see me, nor hear me, unless you're coming along.


I've had a blast of life, tears and rain do get along well. And yet, there's no one but me to be blamed. I knew it would be cold, I expected it, but ofcourse had hoped for something better. I don't know if the situation has gone "stay 3 feet away form me" or not, but it sure felt better. Bold of me to type these here, but who gives a fuck? I'll be gone! And it's not like you'll have nething much to say. It's alright. I know where I stand, but that's yesterday.. But today, who knows? Just you.


It must've lasted because of the way I am. Hyper sensitive to words and actions? I guess. So, no one but me to be blamed. Of course, I'm not as tough as I seem now, but I hope I eventually will be. Or I'd spend the rest of my life doing the same thing to so many other VICTIMS. Yes, I'm sorry to have made it an awkward situation, but ppl are getting sick of me. I have wished for them to do some stupid talking for me, but I still told them not to, cause it'll make things turn sour. It is sour now, but atleast I did it myself, not having others to blame. Telling them just what I wished they'd do, they say I shall do it myself. And the one I knew the longest which is the one who'd never support me to fall this hard, had told me to do it myself. Wishing and hoping it'll make things a lil better, I failed. I was a complete fiasco. I found certain true colours now. If you think what you asked me to do was easy, whatever happened about 24hours ago wouldn't have happened. I could've done it a year ago. Well, thanks for being indirectly honest. I appreciate it. Seriously.


Even if you didn't, but thank you for allowing me to "spill" such, cause I can't stand it anymore. I couldn't hold it any longer. It really did haunt me every night. Just thinking why is this happening and all. I don't think tonight would be the same. I actually pray that nothing had broke or changed what we were before last night. But then again, I won't blame you if it happens. I know it's not as easy as we all say. Do whatever makes you happy. =)


Goodbye to you, please don't do anything stupid that brings death, but coldness or warmth from you, I'll accept it with open arms.