end of me

This is gonna be boring.I've never felt worse. I've always said to myself that I'm a useless freak and it's proven. Thinking bout what a dumbfuck I am all night, I barely slept last night. Tucked in at 1am, fell asleep maybe 2am, woke up at 5.24am, fell asleep and woke up at 7 and fell asleep and eventually dragged myself outta bed at 8am. Working day. No matter how busy the whole salon was, I had to just place my ass on that chair, only got off the chair when clients step in, when I need the loo, or when I eat. That's 2nd prove to show what a dumbfuck I am. Working hours is 10am -7pm, went to OU with mummy after that. To look for a pair of jeans for my fat U-G-L-Y ass. Well, it's then obvious I couldn't get any. Had dinner at 10pm, am now blogging bout how sucky my life can be.

My Jie has been telling me bout her probs and I end up without things to say. She say it's alright cos she only needs someone to spill to. Then mummy questions why is jie always so irritated and would make mum call her just so she can complain. Again I end up speechless. There's been so many things that people tell me, hoping for something to hear to feel better and I've always failed. Daddy got me a dog that needs grooming attention, the attention I gave lasted for say a year, and now she's a black sheep everyday. Daddy got me a fish for my burfday, yet daddy has to help me wash the aquarium. Am I useless or what?


This is the best part now... I've always told MANY great friends that I'm available at any moment to talk about anything at all and in other words giving them hope that I can help. No, I can't, and have never did help. Cause nothing has became better. and what's the point in helping, when I tell u girls/guys things which should actually reflect on me?! So fuck it, I'm not a friend. I don't think I'll blog anymore, even if I do, it's after Christmas. But I doubt it. This blog ain't anything actually. What a loser, she blogs..in 2 sites, she has 3 books to write in, 1 for herself which would be for everyone else after she leaves this earth, 1 for her stupid ex when the time comes, and 1 new one for the unforgetable. She had 1 more book last year for mr anonymous.[the book is stale now] Owh, she also has notes in her handphone, which idioit who don't know what's 'privacy' has read. The amount of books she's had for herself and then everyone else when she's gone.. is 4 books since std.6, and being separated quite evenly into 5 other sources. Did I confuse you? Cause if I did, worry not cause this is the end of me.