When you just can't stop crying.

I don't know just what to do anymore. I don't know!!! I tell myself big girls don't cry. Then I think of everything that was said, every action. I remember every laughing moment. I remember every chocolate-eating-tempting acts. I remember watching you sleep in the mornings. I remember how sharpening a knife was making it even more blunt. I remember how you pout like a kid when I laugh at 'lamanya'. I remember you laughing at me laugh. I remember how hard it was figuring out your middle name. I remember how you said 'If you were going to die, I would make things right again.'

But it's all pointless now. I talk to you like nothing bad is up. I'm glad you're happy, but disappointed it's not with me. Definately. I can't not cry because of you, you did hurt me. But it's not all your fault. As for now, I swear I'll never want to log/sign into any forums like LoveHappens! These are sources of suicide, unless you're successful. But what's the point when distance kills every relationship?

Just like I told Jess when we were at MidValley the other day, "I hate looking at white guys that walk with asian girls mann..!" Rasanya mual! Bagaikan itu patutnya ku. Bukan terasa cemburu, tapi kesakitan! Lagi-lagi muka perempuan gitu semuanya sombong sekali!

Ini rasanya elok. Mulai hari ini, ku menaip guna bahasa gini. Bukan ng-gak mau mu faham, tapi ng-gak mau mu ketahui sakitnya hatiku. Hari-hari memikiri mu, ku tangisi memori yang kita lalui bersama. Moga mu bahagia samanya. Ku ng-gak mau mu kesakitan bagai ku.