Is it today or tonight, we'll know when.

I could kill, if I one day reach the point to where I can't take this anymore. It's not that I want to, but she's killing me everyday. She makes me mad with all the stupid irrelavant things she does! SPM is so close, and I'm complaining about all these. I can't stand it! I want to kill her at times! At most times!

Today she asked me what I want to have for lunch. I asked what else is there left from last night's dinner. She said nothing, but I remember her keeping the chicken in brown gravy! Well, since she said nothing is left then I asked her to fry some noodles. When it was lunch, I ate, she ate. She finished before me, because she slurps everything, not chew. Then she went to feed the monkeys and give them some water. Betty used her hand to scoop some water and drink. Then Betty climbed on her. Therefore Betty left some soil on her arm. And she didn't like it obviously. She didnt take 20 steps to go to the tap and wash her arm, but she took 5 steps to look for my dad's waterlily plants and used the water that contains fishes inside to wash her hand! She didnt take some to splash on her arm, but she took scoops and scoops and scoops! I was horrified!!

I went right to the kitchen door and asked her "u guna air tu untuk cuci tangan?!" and was shocked and answered "tak, ada pasir.."!!! What on earth or hell has that gotta do with my question?! She answers question without thinking or what? I know got the fai hai pasir la, that's why wash, but I asked why use the waterlilies' water?! I dont know if you find her as stupid as I do, or you think I'm just mean. But I'm sick of her crazy shyts! And later on when I asked the same thing but clearly again, she never answered me.

Mann, I could kill her! If I don't, I'll kill myself! This is so frustrating! To make things worse, everytime I'm angry, it affects my skin and I scratch until even a touch of a fingertip can hurt.

One night after dinner, she was wiping the table and I was in the kitchen walking to where she was. I saw her holding the table cloth on one hand and both hands up like she's thinking about flying. And then I jokingly said " u giler ke..? mo terbang?!" and TO MY HORROR, she started shaking her head like she a rock star rocking the concert with her hair all over her face! I dont know what you think, but I think she's only three quarter cooked. Sorry, I've been talking about my maid, incase you couldn't figure out.

I shouldn't be saying this here, but this is my only outlet right now as spm is this close. Not only SPM, all the finals, the competitions, the everyday work.

I could die die die. Not that I want to. I just wish for SPM to be over as soon as possible! I need to get out of this rut!