knockin on heavne's door again.

Okay, regarding my cbox, I'm not really that out of the blue. Well to be honest, I was until today. I realised I'm wasting my life, my time and God's time! I wasted so many other people's time too! And so I'm...

Knockin' On Heaven's Door
[Originally performed by BOB DYLAN]

Yeah, yeah, yeah [2x]

Momma take this badge off of me
I can't use it anymore
It's getting dark, too dark to see
Feel I'm knockin' on heaven's door

Knock knock knockin' on heaven's door
Knock knock knockin' on heaven's door
Knock knock knockin' on heaven's door
Knock knock knockin' on heaven's door

Momma put my guns in the ground
I can't shoot them anymore
That long black cloud is coming down
I Feel like I'm knockin' on heaven's door

Knock knock knockin' on heaven's door
Knock knock knockin' on heaven's door
Knock knock knockin' on heaven's door
Knock knock knockin' on heaven's door

Yeah, yeah, yeah [4x]

-Yes I'm knocking on his door. I had never hurt this bad.Even going up to mt kinabalu with my menses wasn't so bad. Every fall I had wasn't so bad. Every argument with my sister wasn't so bad. Every argument with Jinn, Ben, TiMing, Michael, Melissa, Choy Hoong, Nadiah, and Randall wasn't so bad. Every scratch from the safety pin never hurt so bad. Every bite I give on my hand when I'm mad was never this bad. Every eczema scar formed without such bad pain. Wearing braces didn't hurt this bad. Every injection was 100% not this painful. Every hurting word said by whoever before this wasn't so hurtful. Until what happened today, I just wanna knock on heaven's door. Not study, not cry, not sob, not sulk, not frown, not laugh, not smile, not make my life better[actually I can't since I don't have a life!], not make anything better. Just keep knocking on heaven's door! See if you like me this way, my ol' man!

To let the whole fucking world know, I'm just being suicidal again. And you know what, this Thursday, I'm fucking forced to donate blood, by the person I refer as ol' man. Good chance to get needles to jab and jab.. or maybe stab stab!
Cheers everyone! I'm so[not] alive! ...