When you just can't stop crying.

I don't know just what to do anymore. I don't know!!! I tell myself big girls don't cry. Then I think of everything that was said, every action. I remember every laughing moment. I remember every chocolate-eating-tempting acts. I remember watching you sleep in the mornings. I remember how sharpening a knife was making it even more blunt. I remember how you pout like a kid when I laugh at 'lamanya'. I remember you laughing at me laugh. I remember how hard it was figuring out your middle name. I remember how you said 'If you were going to die, I would make things right again.'

But it's all pointless now. I talk to you like nothing bad is up. I'm glad you're happy, but disappointed it's not with me. Definately. I can't not cry because of you, you did hurt me. But it's not all your fault. As for now, I swear I'll never want to log/sign into any forums like LoveHappens! These are sources of suicide, unless you're successful. But what's the point when distance kills every relationship?

Just like I told Jess when we were at MidValley the other day, "I hate looking at white guys that walk with asian girls mann..!" Rasanya mual! Bagaikan itu patutnya ku. Bukan terasa cemburu, tapi kesakitan! Lagi-lagi muka perempuan gitu semuanya sombong sekali!

Ini rasanya elok. Mulai hari ini, ku menaip guna bahasa gini. Bukan ng-gak mau mu faham, tapi ng-gak mau mu ketahui sakitnya hatiku. Hari-hari memikiri mu, ku tangisi memori yang kita lalui bersama. Moga mu bahagia samanya. Ku ng-gak mau mu kesakitan bagai ku.

Big girls don't cry.

Big girls don't cry.

Especially when they have a cough and flu.

'Cause it gets worse.

So we just finish up a tub of ice-cream.

Hoping it patches up for the tiring and painful day.

Doubting it, we just cry anyway.

Deep inside me I feel like I'm dying.

I miss my sayang. Sayang went camping with daddy and brother. Sayang told me if I was going to die, he's gonna make things right again. Sayang told me to go back to sleep. Sayang left his room to be cleaned by his mummy![naughty boy..] Sayang took as many underwears as he did for trousers. Sayang can pack his clothes in less than an hour. [I'd take a whole day.] Sayang doesn't really know how to sharpen a knife, but it's okay. I'll learn and teach you okay? Sayang says we can make it through 2 years. Sayang likes me in purple. Sayang thinks I look cute when I pout. I think Sayang is so cute when he sleeps. Even cuter when he just woke up. Also cute when he's thinking hard and frustrated. Sayang reminds me to brush the left side of all my teeth when I kept brushing the right side and forgot about the left while I was printing Sodoku for mummy. Sayang tells me not to cry. Sayang makes my day. Sayang brightens my day. Sayang likes apple flavoured gummy candies. Sayang is not a geek. Sayang is a cute goof at times. But I like him that way. Sayang misses me but doesn't wanna admit it. Sayang wants me to bring him shopping one day, or two.. or three.. or four.. or five... or 2 years! Sayang wants me to carry the apple flavoured gummy candy in my hand, on the flight.. throughout my journey. Sayang picks the best clothes for me to wear. Sayang is going to Melbourne for 2 weeks... =/ I watched Around The World In 80 Days to stop thinking too much bout Sayang. Eventually I realised that Sayang looked a tiny bit similar to Steve Coogan. And I felt better somehow.

But Sayang, you know I'll never stop thinking of you and everything you do.

Listening to : Son By Four - Purest of Pain

stupid day.

Today, is an eff-ing bad day! First thing in the morning, I was rushing to college, actually, just rushing outta my house. I was told that my transport's gonna come at 10.30am. At 10am, I was still talking to sayang, and trying to get our bloody webcams to work[okay, maybe it's only my webcam that's bloody]. Then at college it went just okay. After my first class, I went for lunch with the guys. Had chickin rice. Then the guys wanted to go up to the pool centre. I didnt quite like being in the smoky place, and I wanted to use the internet. So I met Fer Lynn at the student lounge. I sat next to a guy, he seemed like he was from middle east. It's not a bad thing. Then I checked my mails, sent some to sayang. Went to friendster. I was waiting for sayang's reply. Then I posted 2 surveys on Friendster. Bloody guy next to me was peeping at my screen the whole time! I finished the survey quickly, and then I checked my mails again. No mail. So I went to see my old mails[waste time].. The bugger peeped again! Mann, he's got no respect! And then his friend sneezed a coupl'a times! I never knew when someone sneezes, there's a smell. Well, I know if I sneeze, only I can smell it. And then we usually wipe it with a tissue or wash our hands right? This fellow, guess what? He stinked! Smelt worse than fart! It wasn't stinging my nose or nething, but you and I would definately know it smelt bad! =S

I REMOVED myself out of the student lounge, and accompanied Fer Lynn for lunch. She had fried rice, seemed nice to me. Went back to the pool centre and soon enough we went to our classes. Had to wait for awhile, since our lecturer was a replacement one. Awhile was really a while! Class was okay until something went SO wrong! I'm not going to mention it here, but don't worry, if you ask me, I'll tell you in private, that is, if I choose to tell you too. =)

So, how bad do you think my day has been? I came home, my maid told me she sorta spoiled my sister's red skirt that I was gonna borrow for orientation night!!! Like, WHAT?!?!!?! So if I wear that skirt, thanks to the fat ass I have, there'll be white lil spots behind since the skirt expends a lil bit.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sayang's really cute message before my second class was cheering.. And then I just read his reply. Sayang, you're so sweet, you're nicer than apple flavoured gummy rings!

Right now, I'm gonna just wait for him to come online, and I'm gonna read my notes or my driving book. Then have dinner. Ever since college started, I long to eat a lot! =S I don't wanna get any fatter! I've been eating rice in college! eeks..!!

hmm, bye..!

Day 1 - Tougher life to come.

Today's my first day in college! I haven't met a lot of people yet. Made some friends though. Some had really funny accents[the foreign ones].. I heard that tomorrow, there'd be more foreigners. I look forward to tomorrow. I just dont know what to wear..! I've been eating really a lot these days! Whatever, I'll find my way.

Right now, I really dislike the time difference factor. And I wanna be in Aussie. This morning/last night, I had a bad dream... I dream that I was gonna meet him in a mall. But it was really crowded! I dont remember if I actually saw him in the end. But we couldn't hang out even if we did. That part of my dream is now very faint to me. Especially after such a long day. I also dreamt that I woke up an hour later than my alarm was supposed to be set. Eventually, my mother woke me up before my alarm rang! I wasn't happy because she told me I should wake myself up. I set my alarm, she comes in before it rings, before the time I told her I was gonna wake up. So what's her point? Am I not growing up or am I being pampered? When she came in and I was still sound asleep, she said "see.. still sleeping! What time now?"
=.="

I have to go for now. I'm missing him real bad. I'm needing my sleep real bad. It's not that I want to miss him; I can't help it. =( But I'm not blaming him, it's nobody's fault. He's sleepy, I can't keep him up just because I want to talk to him. Anyway, he's the sweetest of the sweetests. *muax muax muax*

vrillie noodles

Have you ever?

Have You Ever Been In Love?

It could bring you to the moon.


It makes you want to spend every sunset with that special one.


You go to the beach with a bunch of friends, you wish you had him/her with you.


You walk alone in the park and wish you had his/her hand in yours.


That's when you think you realise you're in love. You think to yourself, 'Mr.Cupid thinks we're meant for each other.'


WRONG!

You could take the next step, or wait until you might have to give up. As a girl, if you confess to a guy bout your feelings, for some guys, they're taken aback, then they freak out, and then they ignore you. They could make you cry till you sleep, without even realising it. Next thing you know, you get a "what did I do?!". Anyways, I'm talking through experience. I went there, done that, running away now. It's not a bad thing though, atleast I learn from my past. It may be a bold thing for a girl to do, but some guys just can't do anything![yea, actually, if they can't do anything it should be about time we forget them!]

Anyways, once any party has done the bloody confession, and both feels the same, this is when you're really in love. Seriously, if you're liking someone and that someone doesn't feel the same, you're only almost in love, and that person isn't even close to love[-ing you], so you can't be 'in' love. But when you really are in love,


Love is wonderful.


Love is full of surprises.



But sometimes the wrong surprises! That's where you don't want to go wrong when you're in love. And NO I'm not talking about experience! It's too obvious to not know.

I think kissing is good enough. Though I'm still having un-kissed lips. I'm proud of it actually. =)

I reckon that the best part of it is when you're leaving for somewhere, bidding each other goodbye with a kiss by the railway,
and when you get back,
you get a much nicer kiss, making everyone jealous!

Now, I've been sitting here for minutes, and I think I'm lost. So I think I might just present you Tofu! Okay, here we go!
This is plain tofu. But actually, they come in various ways(shape,size, colour, taste, ingredients).

Here, we have broiled tofu.

This one's marinated.

I don't know how this poor thing became a tofu. But as I was searching for images, this one was called 'tofu bear'!


However, I found this tofu in my folders. A very very special tofu, not meant to be eaten. In this tofu, you might find lotsa fun and doink-ness, maybe some chocolate too. This tofu is not big but.. umm.. shall I say tall or long? whatever. It's 6 feet tall/long!

An equation,
tofu + noodles =?

A. Pasta noodles made of beans.


B. Shirataki.


C. A coupl'a laughing cows.

Oh, cows don't laugh. I forgot. Never mind!

This post has totally no aim, so who cares just read and go to another page! Hahahaha!!! Hope you enjoyed all of that!
Bye for now!

My Heritage Face Recognition.

Holy moly!!! Do I really look like a Korean?? And Alizee is the only European face! It's like a tad bit of French in me. And then there's Shu Qi but I doubt I look 62% like her?!


I tried another picture.. it says I look like ONLY ONE man. Nah, I think he looks like a girl. But eww eww eww?? Madonna??? Aiyer! Do I really have similarities with JOEY YUNG???!!

Anyways, I tried with a photo of me when I was a kid, about 3 years old. First result said I look like Ashton Kutcher! It's cool[!!!], and yet it's not very. Haha, tofu! I tried your picture and you look 73% like Alyson Hannigan, 70% like J.K. Rowling, 71% like Andy Garcia, 63% like Christopher Lee and Jake Gyllenhaal! I like Alyson and I like Jake. But I prefer Tofu anyways.

Whatever it is, I DONT WANNA LOOK LIKE A KOREAN!!! It's not that it's bad looking like one, but I just don't want to! =(

Goodnight/morning!