Hang. Play hangman?

I always wished for the one. Who hasn't?! But just when you think you're ready to wait or commit, some shyt just has to arise.

I give all I can and all I get is a Taker, no Giver. Perhaps my time will come. But can't I have Take somewhere along the journey? I'm taking the chance and opportunity to go the distance and see you for atleast a week, but no, you did no help. Instead I was shouted at on the phone. Heck ofcourse I cared if you needed to shower! But you never fcuking care if I am doing too much to meet you. It so shows how much I mean.

And YOU, you gave when I didn't take, and now when I want to take, you say you're TAKEN. It's okay, your nose is weird. I hate you for that short hook-on.

And this flirting pig, I'd kick you hard in the butt and then slap you, and kiss you AGAIN. I already disliked her before I met you. And now you met her. I dislike you now. Cause I can't let you know I like you and I don't like her. But what was the ... about? Hell, you know I wasn't that dead? I won best-actress in a minor college drama competition my dear. I was just waiting to see what else could be done or not. In a way, I was hoping. But turns out it's more like I was hopping! Like a fool? I never thought I'd put myself in such a situation.

Gone past that, I'm in some stupid sorrows. Play a show everyday. Ofcourse, life IS a stage, but so many scenes! Too many! So glad I'd be leaving all these sadness behind, here in my very own country of origin. France, London, Italy. Lovely. *sigh* Then again; might be a place filled with lust and flings.

Is this really how a life of a 20 year old should be? Like the song Buses and Trains by... I forgot the singer. I wish I could say "hey mom, why didn't you tell me..?" but I can't 'cause she'd go "you mean you... ?!?!". I can't listen to the radio now, I can't watch love movies. I think I'd throw my shoe at the speaker or screen. It's that time of my life again. I hate relationships. Yea, sounds damn freakin' emo and pathetic. Why? Why now? Why because of him him and him.. and him and him? No, it's not that many guys. I'm a veryloyal person, if you are to me. I always believe, what you give, you get back. I always give nice things, and get shyt in return.

Eeeeee.. I don't like boys. I feel like a 5 year old kid now. "Boys?;Ewwww...."

TAKE THAT!


I would like to have more of something I can't say here, and can't even SAY it...


Bye, I'm going to France next Sunday, and won't be back till May. Miss me! You will.


With (real) love,
avrril