stranded

Listening to: Switchfoot-on fire
Feeling: as neglected by friends as ever.
ppl say Samara with specs. I say halfdead. I've been laughing all day in school, and now it all comes back down to being doomed. There are certain b*tches who talk abt ppl so much, it's as if they have never looked into a mirror! Talk about others like as if they're perfect, when they're actually just some skanky piece'a poo! Selfish dogs... Well I'm not gonna let these lil lame'o FEMALE puppies ruin my life.

I don't need to go along, cause you're there! Are you happy now? I don't need to go along just to hear your blardy english malay indian accent! Readers, no I'm not afraid that the person itself reads this! Yea, skanky poo! -read it!!! you're a b*tch for life! Hate ppl for jealousy on behalf of your best friend? You may go suck up shyt from the sewege for a living! I thought you were nice. I thought wrong! I wish you could just 'be gone'.

To my dear friend[pls note, i said friend not puppy], if you think you feel alone and don't have a good friend to go to class together, learn together and have fun together, I'd have to say I'm in a worse situation. I'm sure you see me coming down for recess with someone different everyday. I used to go to the back of the class and yack and yack, but now she avoids me. Sooner or later I'm sitting alone, looking around for things to do. That's cause they all come and go. Being me, like being an 'artist' like Pn Tan said... artists are only acknowledged and treasured years after they're dead, or even just after they die. Well, except the fact that I dont do much that outstands myself. I guess I live like many others do, but how come they're much happier than I am? How come they're luckier than I am? How come they're APPRECIATED? and I'm being made doomed.

Classmates of mine, cause treasurers like me to feel useless. I wish I wasn't treasurer. It's not nice keeping 42ppl's money you know?! It sucks! and it makes me feel like a loan shark! The rude and pushy kinda person. That asks for a lotta money, a lotta times. Hey donkeys, I go round the class and take up my time which i can do much better things, just to collect you kiam siap ppl's money, so that you can sit for the year end exams! You know??? All you say is forget, I also forgot to buy test pads and omr sheets for the exams! how? fuck it all la! Call yourselves monitor and asst monitor? Kiss my *ss!

I dont know why, but this just went through my mind... Chi Khan, for gawd's sake!!!! The exams are SO CLOSE, and you still have time for fucking snooker?!?!?! Use the cue to aim your balls!!! You know why life sucks, baby? Cos you make it suck! Now, I care that's why I'm saying this, ChiKhan, you're a silly donkey's arse!

I'm spilling all these, I don't know what would happen tomorrow. I don't know if a robber may just break into my house at this very moment! Maybe the 18 wheeler[ like ti Ming said] would just run through me? And the word tomorrow is what I dread. Cos it al brings it down to November. and the absence of one. Being missed dearly, not that he's dead. But the love is dead. "what can I do even if it's you? I'll be gone so soon"... alphabets that formed words that formed a sentence just to shoot me right in the heart. And some angels that still stays on my shoulder, doesn't wanna let me go... I know it's pretty complicated, but the words that comes out just like that are the ones that's true. That, I believe. I've been spilling all sorts of words these days which I've not said for a very long time. Sorry. I just hate being where I am now. Wish I could really be away. Away from certain people. Maybe not too far, just blinded and fumbling my way through life. Now that's more like it.